Belong

Posted by on July 19, 2013 in Five Minute Friday | 37 comments

Amid the piles and chaos, neck deep in chores unfinished and meals always needing to be made, it’s a temptation to believe that this is not where I belong.

Not because I don’t love, but only because it overwhelms.

It feels a thousand percent wrong to give voice to that low growl, to admit that sometimes, it all feels like being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s a lie that I’m tempted to believe when beds are wet in the night and directions must be repeated for the umpteenth time, when the macaroni boils over, and fights erupt over the gagillionth toy in this house–that I was made for more than this–the worldly version.

In a world where stay at home mom’s are sometimes thought simple and perhaps even lazy, in a world that thinks staying home with the kids means playing all day or watching soaps and munching bon-bons, while wearing bunny slippers, I sometimes believe it myself–that maybe I don’t belong, that there’s more “out there” than in here.

But before I am deemed worst-mother-of-the year, I want to say that I don’t really believe this.
I don’t really feel it.

It drifts in on very hard days, a whisper of darkness in my ears, that makes me question God–and I realize that I am Eve.

Did God really say…

belong

This place, these four hearts I have the privilege of helping to mold, this mount everest of laundry I climb each week, and the million miles I put in, lapping around this house and up and down the stairs, this is right.

This is where I belong.

Because, I was made for more than this, I was made for heaven, and a small heaven can be here, with God here, with my children in my lap and at my feet, with my husband beside me and family prayers on the big bed.

God really said: yes, this for you, all of this–
It’s a gift, being here.

It is where I belong.

 

 

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Five Minute Friday

  • HopeUnbroken

    yes, yes, yes! no matter what our circumstances, it is so easy to doubt. to think that we are doing other than what we should. even though deep down we know otherwise. standing in affirmation with you, sweet one. keep on keeping on! for the umpteenth time :-)
    steph

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Thanks, Steph. It’s a blessing to be understood ;)

  • raayres

    Beautiful writing. Your long sentences made me feel the rhythm of your days. Your turning point and realization, that yes, this is where you belong was timed just so I felt the depth of this truth. I’m glad you wrote today. I’m glad I landed here to read it.
    Thank you,
    Ruth

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      I am terrible with my long sentences. Sometimes, the punctuation just gets in the way, you know? Thanks for your encouragement :)

  • http://www.momsmustardseeds.com/ Rebecca Brandt

    Oh sweet friend, those wet beds will eventually stay dry, but the night time will be filled with deep conversations – just when you thought your head could hit the pillow and yes – you are right.where.u.belong! Love you and your words that always speak to this Mama heart!

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Yes, yes, I am sure of this. I know this is a season, and I am learning to live fully in each one. Love to you, my friend. I miss you.

  • keltrinswife

    Yup

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      :)

  • Amy L. Sullivan

    While “wearing bunny slippers” Ha! Love how you can be both serious and hysterical all in one little combo package.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      :) for the record, I don’t own any bunny slippers. Mine look more like Tinkerbell’s shoes, except they are pink. XO

  • http://www.lisanotes.com/ Lisa notes…

    I knew I belonged at home too, even though I also had those thoughts of wondering if something out there was more than in here. You’re doing a tremendous work; raising little ones is so important. Thanks for sharing.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Thank you Lisa. It’s so encouraging to hear from other Mom’s who get this.

  • http://memyselfandmercy.blogspot.com/ Mary Bonner

    Kris, this might be the most beautiful piece of writing about stay at home moms I’ve ever read. It brings tears to my eyes. I had the privilege of staying home too…while some days were hard, it was worth it. I love this my friend. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Mary, your words today have rested on my heart and felt like such a gift from God. Thank you for your warmth and friendship. You have no idea how blessed I feel to know you. Love you.

  • Lori Harris

    Oh wow- my favorite link up so far this morning. And I don’t say that very often.
    And yes, you daughter of Eve, God really did say, this. All of this.
    Lovely, lovely, lovely!

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Thank you, Lori. I am so thankful you stopped by to read. God bless you, new friend.

  • Jennifer

    Sweet. Thank you. Needed those encouraging words today. As a stay at home mom I often fall victim to the lies of “there are better things…more happenings…our there” when really there is a lot going on right here…in our home.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Be encouraged, my friend. There is a lot happening at home. All of the very best.

  • Julie Reynolds

    LOVE~~ LOVE~~ LOVE~~

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      :) ((hugs))

  • http://fruitinseason.blogspot.com Christine- Fruit in Season

    Breathing this in.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Oh my friend. I know you understand this… Love you so.

  • http://www.alifesurrendered.com/ Michele-Lyn

    love… just love you <3 This mama loves this.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      The feeling is mutual. I know I am in great company here. XO

  • http://ashliewrites.com/ Ashlie

    Oh goodness. I have tears in my eyes. Just…no words really. Love it and love you. My heart needed this!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com/ Michele-Lyn

      so good, right? :) I just love her and you both!

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      humbled, Ashlie. praying for your Mama heart. Next April, at Refine, I will hug you tight. XO

  • Rebecca

    Love this! Beautiful words spoke right to this mama’s heart.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      Oh bless you–I am so thankful.

  • Denise Oldham

    beautiful.

    • http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

      ;) Thanks, Denise.

  • Mia

    Dear Kris
    Being a mom at home can be quite overwhelming. But one thing is for sure; it is hard work.
    Blessings XX
    Mia

  • http://www.adefinedlife.blogspot.com/ Stephani

    I know you’ve heard it before, but you have the most important job in the world. Our country would be a much different place if more Mom’s stayed home and more Dad’s made it possible for that to happen. I’m not a mother, but I truly believe in what you do as a stay at home Mom!

  • http://undergodsmightyhand.blogspot.com Caroline @UnderGod’sMightyHand

    Yes, Kris, I get that realization. Even though I get tired (I do) and need a break (I do), I LOVE being with my kids and it’s a true gift (though I have to remind myself sometimes! And that’s okay. We need renewal and reminders.).

  • http://www.debistangeland.com/ Debi Stangeland

    Beautiful tribute to one of the hardest jobs on earth. Thank you for sharing such wonderful and important thoughts with us today. Rock on!!

  • Katie Phillips

    Beautiful words from one mama to the rest of us mamas who need to hear it as well.

  • Sarah Speer Scales

    This is my third time to read this is the last week. Thanks! I needed to be encouraged!