Journey Out Of Fear, Music, Praise

Crushed But Not Broken~ Released From Captivity

September 12, 2011

You block your dream

when you allow your fear

to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey


The glaring red lights of my alarm clock shine bright in the darkness of my room. I groan as I hear the gleeful voices of the Radio Dj’s. It’s 4:30 A.M. and that means It’s time to run.

I press hard into the pillow, not wanting to move.

I feel like I just laid down. I am bone weary.

I rise because I have to. I am in training and with this race looming on the 18th I don’t have time to get lazy. But I am afraid. I didn’t realize what a spiritual journey it would be to train for a race. And maybe it wouldn’t have been as much, except that I am not running for myself.

I am running for him. And for the 1.2 million other children in the Compassion program, living in poverty around the world. I’m running for Compassion International, and it seems once I committed to training for that race, the challenge increased ten-fold.

I stepped onto the treadmill and began to run, like I have for the past 4 months every day, and without warning, God showed up. I began to pray about all these fears, all these negative voices that cloud my judgment and urge me to give up. I have never wanted to simultaneously quit and keep working at anything like I have training for this race.

Everyday I wake up and feel like I will fail.

Every day.

But as my feet pounded the belt, and the prayers left my lips, the Spirit moved in. Scriptures began to flood my mind my mind. Goosebumps covered my body though I was dripping with sweat. I saw a vision of two big hands, grab the edges of a giant stone wall and just tear it down, as if it was made of paper. And I walked out of the rubble. That wall was the prison of my fears. 

Have I not commanded you,

be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid,

nor be dismayed,

for the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go- Joshua 1:9

I cannot believe that for so long, I have allowed fear to determine so much in my life, and I cannot believe how long this has gone unchecked. Unconfessed.

God is still working on me. I am not finished with this journey. But for the first time in a long time, I have full faith that God has this, He has all that we are in His care, and if we will keep our eyes on Him, we may be hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

The enemy condemns through fear. But Christ has set us free, he reminded me of this very fact, as he spoke to my heart while I ran.

But perfect love drives out fear, 1John 4:18

This is the song that came on right after I had the vision of the hands tearing down walls. Amazing how God speaks!

Are you living in true freedom from fear?

How are you encouraged to walk in faith and love as God calls us to?

I know I set out on a Journey our of Fear, and here God is teaching me about faith…Stick with me and lets see where we end up.

My sisters in Christ, who are also Journeying with us:

Emily~ Journey Towards A Place Of Rest

Nicole~ A Journey Of Providence

Christine~ Journey To True Friendship

Heather~ Journey Towards a Prayerful Life

Erika~ Journey Into The Word

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  • Reply Christine- Fruit in Season September 12, 2011 at 10:43 am

    I am amazed at how He speaks when I am running.  I wish someone had told me sooner that spiritual/physical connection!  I love how God gives you images, as He does me.  He has such intimate ways of speaking to His children when we just are looking and listening.  xoxo

    • Reply Anonymous September 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

      Yes, I never realized the spiritual /physical connection until I started training. It has been a whole new thing. I do love the way God speaks, how he reaches us as individuals, in a way that we can embrace and ‘get’ the message. What a truly awesome God he is. And how blessed am I to get to share the journey with you, such a sweet sister in Christ! xxoo

  • Reply Emily September 14, 2011 at 3:42 am

    WOW! Loved this, and the vision of wall being torn down… I got goosebumps too! 

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