You block your dream
when you allow your fear
to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey
I press hard into the pillow, not wanting to move.
I feel like I just laid down. I am bone weary.
I rise because I have to. I am in training and with this race looming on the 18th I don’t have time to get lazy. But I am afraid. I didn’t realize what a spiritual journey it would be to train for a race. And maybe it wouldn’t have been as much, except that I am not running for myself.
I am running for him. And for the 1.2 million other children in the Compassion program, living in poverty around the world. I’m running for Compassion International, and it seems once I committed to training for that race, the challenge increased ten-fold.
I stepped onto the treadmill and began to run, like I have for the past 4 months every day, and without warning, God showed up. I began to pray about all these fears, all these negative voices that cloud my judgment and urge me to give up. I have never wanted to simultaneously quit and keep working at anything like I have training for this race.
Everyday I wake up and feel like I will fail.
But as my feet pounded the belt, and the prayers left my lips, the Spirit moved in. Scriptures began to flood my mind my mind. Goosebumps covered my body though I was dripping with sweat. I saw a vision of two big hands, grab the edges of a giant stone wall and just tear it down, as if it was made of paper. And I walked out of the rubble. That wall was the prison of my fears.
Have I not commanded you,
be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid,
nor be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go- Joshua 1:9
I cannot believe that for so long, I have allowed fear to determine so much in my life, and I cannot believe how long this has gone unchecked. Unconfessed.
God is still working on me. I am not finished with this journey. But for the first time in a long time, I have full faith that God has this, He has all that we are in His care, and if we will keep our eyes on Him, we may be hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)
The enemy condemns through fear. But Christ has set us free, he reminded me of this very fact, as he spoke to my heart while I ran.
But perfect love drives out fear, 1John 4:18
This is the song that came on right after I had the vision of the hands tearing down walls. Amazing how God speaks!
Are you living in true freedom from fear?
How are you encouraged to walk in faith and love as God calls us to?
I know I set out on a Journey our of Fear, and here God is teaching me about faith…Stick with me and lets see where we end up.
My sisters in Christ, who are also Journeying with us:
Emily~ Journey Towards A Place Of Rest
Nicole~ A Journey Of Providence
Christine~ Journey To True Friendship
Heather~ Journey Towards a Prayerful Life
Erika~ Journey Into The Word