On October 18th, my 2nd book, Come, Lord Jesus: The Weight of Waiting releases!! For the next few weeks I have invited the members of my “street team” to share their stories and reflections on the book, the topic of waiting, and Advent. Stay tuned for the FREE download of the first 5 days of Come, Lord Jesus: The Weight Of Waiting.
It’s early. It is still dark as I curl up in a chair with blanket and tea. I cup the warmth with my hands as I watch the darkness forced out by the light. The wind blows and joins the light —together they brighten the sky. The sun should be sitting on the horizon, instead, there is only fog. I peer out across the lawn and it looks like the sky is falling —everything white and aglow, you can’t see where the earth ends and sky begins.
It’s all white like a Christmas morn on an earth that just birthed the King, who is promised to wash us white as snow —to scrub the stains right away, to make all things new.
I sit and I wait with breath abated. I feel the tension and the angst in my heart and the questions rise. What if Jesus does not come —how will this earth have peace? How will my soul be still? How will the suffocating grief loosen its grip?
How else can I keep believing there is a better day, that Jesus is holding, and He is coming? How else can I believe if my heart isn’t turned toward Jesus if I don’t hope every year in His first coming?
Because if we don’t have hope of this first coming, how do we hold on to the hope of the second coming?
This is an excerpt from my personal journal. Two years in a row, the words I penned were so similar. I can feel the angst of my waiting in them.
I feel the weight of the past years, the deep seasons of loss, the unending seasons of grief, and the long waiting —waiting on finances, illnesses and diagnoses, adoptions and family. Waiting for answers that seemingly never come —wondering if God is even listening anymore.
Every year it feels the same, autumn rolls in and I am ready for the year to end. The weight of the year is too burdensome and heavy and I want a new year, a clean slate and if I can just hold on until that clock strikes midnight.
In my rush to get to the end, I miss the very thing that I am searching for, I miss seeing Jesus. And when Christmas day rolls in, I feel it. It is Him I am racing toward. It is not a clock bell, or a new year, or a clean slate. It is Jesus. And I missed it. I missed Him. I missed the hush of the waiting. For Jesus to come low, to come for me, to tell me that all this waiting is good.
At the end of summer, just as the angst was creeping in, my friend, Kris Camealy, announced she had written a book, Come Lord Jesus: The Weight of Waiting, 25 Daily Readings for ADVENT. The subtitle caught my eye, and the words “The Weight of Waiting” rolled over in my head. Surely, this was no coincidence, in all my carrying the weight, of rushing toward Jesus, Kris pens the words that bring the hush, the quietness, the stillness that I need.
In reading an advanced copy of her book for her launch team, Kris’ words pour out my heart’s cries.
She awakens my eyes to see that God has not forgotten me.
“In our awakening, we see that God has been doing “things we did not look for” all along (Isaiah 64:3). He has always been acting “for those who wait for Him” In our sins we have been a long time, and shall we be saved (Isaiah 64:4-5) Come Lord Jesus: the Weight of Waiting p. 8”
She reminds me that God does not work within our time, that my waiting is not wasted. The man-made calendar? It is not chronological, it is God’s timing and His timing is always a gift.
“The time God gives us in the waiting is a gift, whether or not it feels that way in the moment. He is not late in His coming. Come Lord Jesus: the Weight of Waiting p. 34”
She shows me in all my tears, my begging to God, my anger towards God that He, God, has not and is not leaving me. She shows me each day, whether in good or bad, we are walking on holy ground.
Neither our blindness, nor our wrestle with doubt, nor our penchant for forgetting our God can keep us from His love. Through Jesus, God has given us new eyes to see, a new heart to receive His love, to love Him in return, to love others, as He has loved us all. We were blind but now? Now we see. Come Lord Jesus: the Weight of Waiting p. 121”
I am thankful for this God-given gift Kris poured out and is offering to the world. It is our permission to sit in the wait, whether it is the days Advent, or our ordinary days.
Guest Post By
Shelly Richardson spends her days with her two daughters, her husband that loves like Jesus, and her two bonus daughters she gained by way of marriage. In the ordinary, you can find her homeschooling her oldest daughter while delivering meals to her youngest as if she were a short-order cook in a diner. Most days you can find her chasing grace, believing that all the small things are great things in the kingdom, and praying it boldly —kingdom come. She writes out her story at www.beyondborders.me